A DAY IN THE SCATTERBRAIN, EP 3: FIRST DAY BACK! pls put me out of my misery

 HELLO ALL!! HAPPIEST OF APRIL FOOLS!!!!!! AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! I LAUGHED!!! BECAUSE IT'S APRIL FOOLS!!! AND APRIL FOOLS IS FUNNY!! AHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

wait thumbnail

watch this video right now or I'll 

SR PELO! THE GOAT!

 Anyway it's Emi from Emi :D I'm currently on the bus and going back home from school! YAY OMG. You guys have no idea how much I despise A days. Like yes! Some days they can be super awesome and fun and stuff but today, I had to DRAG MY FEET

GUYS I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

                                                                          current mood

                              

Coming back from school after a week long break is hard bro 😖😖😖😖😖😖 but I’m happy I survived! I MADE IT! TEST RUN COMPLETE! Now time to endure the next 3 months of my life!! Joy!!! Ahahahahah!!!! The path forward looks pretty dark right now, with ten quadrillion final exams and band rearing its ugly head. BEST EXAM! GEO EOC! LANG EXAMS! MEDIA EXAMS! SOCIO EXAMS! JUST TAKE ME LORD! TAKE ME AWAY!!!!!! 

but u all have to remember one thing…MY NAME IS PERSEVERANCE!! THAT HAS BEEN PROVEN MANY TIMES!! I have successfully made out of every single dark or stressful time in my life and I WILL MAKE IT OUT AGAIN. WATCH ME!!!1!1!!1!1 GREAHAAAHAHAHHAHAHA!1!1!1!1!1!

Zoned out there mb

today was a tad bit boring

I haven’t received adequate stimulation

Especially in band bro holy carpy. The other tenor player took my sax home before break which was fine by me cuz I have one at home right (that I don't bring to school) but today he forgot to bring it back to school! LOLZ!!!! YK WHAT THAT MEANS!! I had to sit still for 1 hour and 30 minutes…and for a mfka like me who probably has undiagnosed ADHD (maybe autism), THATS SO PAINFULLY DIFFICULT. 

Speaking of band, a whole lot of shit is coming up having to do with it. Leadership applications, state MPA, marching mini camps, CHAIR PLACEMENT AUDITIONS. With full sincerity and honesty, I'm genuinely not looking forward to most of these things. Marching mini camp hell yeah :D but the other stuff?

here wait let me spit out my feelings so I don't explode this month

LEADERSHIP APPLICATIONS: Guys, I have the possibility of running for saxophone section leader (most likely assistant) and I genuinely don't know if I want to do it or not. I'm experienced when it comes to all the marching stuff but music wise? I'm okay at playing my instrument but I sure as hell cannot teach music well to any soul out there. It's just not something I'm confident in. I've had some experience teaching music in master class, but that's entirely just it. I never taught other highschoolers! SCARY! Apart from that, other questions that I'm asking myself are:

"Do I even WANT to do this? Like is this something I will be looking forward to doing every single day of next years band program?"

Answer: I'm genuinely not sure. To be honest, band is not the biggest passion in my life right now, and I feel the spark and excitement that comes with it shrinking with time.(More on that wayyy later, I have a lot to think about ( ´▽｀)) so chances are I won't be so dedicated and invested in this job as I am with other passions in my life such as art (the other form) (film and drawing).

"Do I have the patience, responsibility, and maturity to pull off leadership?"

Answer: I consider myself to be a peaceful human, but I do indeed lack patience when it comes to dealing with people. Although I do lose my temper at times, I usually don't lash out or become completely mean to one once I lose patience, but the feeling I get inside is awful and I don't like it :(

RESPONSIBILITY! With school, I do pretty awesome as I am very much a dedicated student who does care about her future! And if I had a dog, I would take care of it! However, one little thing about myself that I and those I am close to know about: Every single piece of technology that I have ever beholden has been broken. EVERY ONE! My phone (I am on my third one at the moment), my computer (on my second), both iPads I had as a kid, (one I destroyed by bottle flipping on top of it) (it was 2016) my 3DS (I got water on it), and my kindle! HAHA!! Not the most responsible now, huh? (no)

Jokes aside, I still have A LOT of this skill to gain, like A LOT. I would say that I'm at 64% responsibility at the moment.

MATURITY! When it comes to dealing with situations and people, compared to some of my peers, I am decently mature. But if one says "poop" in front of my face, I will die laughing. We will come back to this one another time ( ´▽｀)

"Am I capable of such leadership?"

Answer: For main section leader, definitely not. Assistant though? Maybe! As said before, I don't have much experience when it comes to leadership, and it's definitely not a skill I have been nurturing and developing. I know as time goes on, I will become better at leading a group, but for now, this is where I'll stand.

STATE MPA: This one is by far the least worst out of all of these terrors, but I still panic about it from time to time! One of the songs we are playing for this event, Frozen Cathedral, has a tenor sax solo within its beginning! I'm not first chair tenor, so normally my other tenor sax pal takes it on. But as of recent, he has not been bringing his instrument to class. This eventually led to me having to play the solo, which actually didn't go bad at first, it was pretty good!...but it eventually turned into poopoo peepee. On March 7th, I had to play this solo, and it was BAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!. I was full of anxiety at that moment; as I was playing, I felt everyone's eyes on me and on me only, my throat was closed up, my vision was blurry, and so was my thinking. So what happened? I rushed! :D Big time! :D It was awful! :D Never again! :D I never want to play this solo again! :D What if I quit band? :D

Other than that song though, the other 2 are genuinely not bad, so I'll have an okay time playing both of them :D!

CHAIR PLACEMENT AUDITIONS: Other than the torturous testing season, I genuinely love the end of the year like no other! Only one thing besides testing that brings it down though! Band! And its chair placement auditions! Big scary! For this audition, we have to play a technical piece, 2 scales by memory, and sightread. The technical piece I'm always chill with because we get good practice time and yeah :D I should be chilling with that with hella practice time! YAY! As for the scales...AHH! To get extra points, you have to play em by memory..and memory and I don't have the best relationship..BUT!! BUT BUT!!! Me and muscle memory have a much better one!!! So if I play every single note by note, over and over and over and over again, I should be okay in the end! 

I'm cooked with sightreading

but it's okay cuz it's only 5 points >:D

LETS GOOOOOOO!!!!

Now that I have wrote about all of these dark and treacherous things coming up my way, I feel a lot better and lowkey a little ready to tackle them :D! Chances are I won't become section leader, and I know a lot of peer pressure will be in the picture, but in the long run I make my own decisions and I'll make sure everyone knows the hell out of that in the end :) 

But with that my friends, I must now finish this post and continue developing my lovely characters for my silly lil short film! STAY TUNED! YIPPEEEE!! YAY! YAYYYY!!!!