one more month and that's literally it: a lil rant
Hello hello blog! Long time no see! :D Hope you guys are doing pretty swell, I know I am!
god what a past like 3 weeks it has been
i am quite burnt out! have been for a little bit now!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHA AAHHAAH junior year i hate you but i also love but i also hate you but i love you why do you have to be so oopy goopy
on the bright side though, there is one month left until I become a senior! ONE!!!!!
mood
It's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I literally leave my house forever in a year from now and allll of everything leading up to that starts in just a couple weeks. It seriously has been quite a journey in the big CB but God knows pretty dang well that I really want to get out of there soon. My experiences in high school have seriously changed the entire course of my life and the person I am and I genuinely could not be more grateful, but I'm now starting to feel like a saltine cracker in a pantry that's going to expire soon.
Let's face it everybody, and let's face it Emi, yes I'm talking to you Emi, you MUST face this fact sooner than later....
I am getting old
ITS SCARY! As of right now, I am not ready for ANY of that, the only thing I'm probably ready for is to finally, FINALLY have a ton of freedom to myself, not only for personal matters, but to also just live and experience the world. THERE IS SO MUCH OUT THERE! I have literally been feeling this exact way since like the middle of my sophomore year. During lunch one day, I breathed in my surroundings and thought to myself, "holy guacamole my world is so small." I remember telling my friend at the time something along the lines of "dude, I really just want to get out of here and just experience different things, like I'm just so tired of waking up everyday and experiencing the same. exact. thing. yknow? There is so much out there for me to see! People to meet! Experiences to experience! Things to learn! I want to see the world!"
i promise you I didn't sound as existential, i obviously was a little more silly with it, but I sincerely meant every word I said that day to my friend. Every single one!
I am tired everybody. And not in just the ooohh i want sleep type of way, NONONO! I got the most amazing sleep last night! I am more so tired in the LET ME OUTT LET ME OUTTTT type of way. And pretty please don't get me wrong!! I love my life right now, I have amazing friends who always have my back, a loving family, and a beautiful, perfect girl, but even as much as I hate growing up, I really just want to spread my wings and finally just finally live life on my own terms. No hiding, no 8 hour school days, no restrictions, no relying on grown ups to do things, no high school drama!
me in the future when i dont have to worry about highschool anymore
NONONONONONONO
Bills! Work! More bills! Living alone! Bills and bills! Uhhh car insurance!
YAWNNNN NO ME GUSTA!
Luckily those things are not going to be of my concern until like 2047 but just thinking of them now makes my timbers shiver. Like yes! I'll be free! But no! I'll have to pay taxes! GAH. But again that's just a concern for 30 year old Emi, right now Emi is 17 years old and will be legally an adult in a couple months from now, and she is feeling both excited and terrified. Excited to spread her wings and live her life how she wants, but terrified to leave her old life and childhood behind. As stagnant as her old life and as vibrant and mildly chaotic as her childhood may have been, Emi will miss both of those things very very much.
The month of May is coming up, and it's coming up FAST. It will be an exciting feeling to finally be a senior and wear the golden crown I've always been dreaming of wearing since my freshman year, but I will always, always, ALWAYS be super emotional about it. The day I graduate, and the day I leave for college, I promise you right now, you will catch me in TEARS. Some of those tears may be sad, some bittersweet, some happy! I will be a combination of every single one of those emotions. I'll be sad to leave Weston and my life here behind, I'll be bittersweet as my childhood ends, but most of all, I'll be happy. I'll be happy knowing that the years upon years I spent in Weston were the best ever, and I'll be happy knowing that I finally made it to the finish line of adolescence. I will finally be able to live out the life of my dreams!
emi battling and living up her way through her teen years
I have high hopes for the future :] Even in the deepest darkest times of my life when I doubt and hate myself to the fullest, I still have this spark of pure hope in me that knows that everything, no matter how terrifying or risky it might be, will be okay. This is where all my optimism comes from if any of you guys are wondering :D I feel it glowing all day every day even when I'm in absolute tears. As scared as I am about growing up, I have SO much hope and dreams and goals to accomplish by then :] In fact I'll spread it all out for you guys to see and for future Emi to check off!
1. Graduate college with a bachelors degree in media production/communications
2. Graduate grad college with a masters
3. Marry the loml (hi :D)
4. Buy a nice house
5. Get a dawg
6. Be successful while doing what I love :]
BOOOOMSHAKALAKA!
Obviously there is sososo much more than just these 6 things that I'm looking to accomplish but if I wrote about allll of that this blog would be as long as the Bible! Just know everybody, that I will do great, amazing things during my time on this lovely Earth :] I'll remember you all when I make it big I promise!
i think that's a good thing because i see her as the best possible, coolest version of me :D
But! BACK TO THE PRESENT DAY! It's not 2027 yet everybody! It is still 2026 and I am still a kid! I must take my SAT, ACT, and all my other standardized tests and AICE exams and still be a high school student! You can wait for now, college, but be absolutely ready for a weirdo named Emi Valdivia who will stop at nothing to make an everlasting impact and mark on the world! Woohoo!
okie dokie i must go now :D thank you guys for checking out this blog post! I really had to let this whole growing up talk out of my system since it's been on my mind as of recent. Los aprecio mucho!
Chau chau! Te amo mucho super awesome blog reader <3
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